Well, here I am, starting over again. My life is so out of control. Five weeks ago, I was swamped with work, no time for anything, but work and a little sleep. The following two weekends I was out of town and couldn't go to my meetings and WI, then I get back and between work and just not having the guts to go, I still didn't go to my meeting. On top of all that, my sister, who is 17 years younger than me, went to the emergency room last Saturday evening and went into respiratory failure and was put on a ventilator. For five days they had to keep her sedated to the point of being unresponsive. She is now more alert and responsive, but still on the ventilator. Yesterday, they performed a tracheostomy and when they find a bed, they will be moving her to a long-term facility (for only 30 to 60 days hopefully) to wean her off the ventilator and get her up and moving again. Of course, all through this, what have I been doing? Eating!
I am just so frustrated with myself. It's so easy to say I'm not going to stress eat, but so difficult to do. When does your mind set change? When do you stop reaching for food because you're upset? Is there an "aha" moment that it finally sinks in that that's not going to help, it's only going to hurt? I'm still so stressed, but I've got to get this weight off of me. I feel like I have to start all over again and I'm terrified to weigh, but I know I've got to do it. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I've gained it all back. I will be going to my meeting on Saturday, though. I rode my stationary bike for 20 minutes so far today. I am journaling again. I'm drinking my water again. So, at this moment in time, I'm back OP. I've just got to keep myself that way!